It's not so much that I hate to exercise, but I have such a hard time getting started. I wish exercise didn't seem like a chore, like something that will cut into my free time, the limited time that I get to do exactly what I want to do rather than ticking off items on my "to do" list.
I'm by no means slothful or completely lazy. Sure, I love to watch TV, read and surf the Internet, but I also work as Geriatric nurse 3 evenings a week, I keep a clean house, the laundry is always done, towels and linens are always clean. The pantry is always stocked and there is good (more often than not home made by me) food to eat. It doesn't get done by itself. I don't have children but making my sure my husband is scrubbed, fed, clothed and happy is a priority and he's worth it.
An attitude adjustment is needed on my part and badly. A change in the way I think. Eating healthy and getting physical activity is something that is essential to living a long and healthy life. As a nurse, I see my future if I don't change. Diabetes, which leads to blindness and amputations, stroke, which often comes with loss of speech and paralysis and heart disease which often leads to death.
My self-indulgence (over-indulgence) is going to do me in, sooner rather than later now that I'm staring down 40. Time to stop punishing myself because daddy didn't (doesn't) love me more than himself, his harpy of a wife, his horses, his dog and his cats. Time to stop heading for the kitchen if Rob and I have a disagreement or if I have a tough shift at work.
Time to start treating myself with some love and care. I'm fragile, but I'm also strong. I have to care for the fragile bits and cultivate my strength. It's just time.