Monday, November 9, 2009

Out of Commission

I'm down with a bit of a cold. I knew last week that I wasn't getting enough rest and sure enough I went to bed Saturday night with a sore throat. That's my body's way of telling me to slow the heck down but I didn't listen soon enough. Anxiety, also, has a big role in how run-down I've gotten. I've been dealing with the symptoms of this recent anxiety with exercise and deep-breathing but unless I address the root it will continue to cause me problems in winding down and getting the good quality sleep my body (and my husband) requires. Poor Rob has had to deal with me waking up screaming and swinging in the night three times in the past two weeks. This anxiety is giving me night-terrors, which I'm not quite sure how to deal with.

I've been mulling it over trying to figure out exactly what is making me so anxious. I feel like I've wasted so much of my life being fat, in a fog of emotional over eating and the freedom I'm feeling now is making me overcompensate. I'm going at a hundred-miles an hour in ten different directions because suddenly, I can. My inner-overachiever has been released and she won't let up. I'm lighter on my feet and have more energy that I don't want to sit still and feel like if I slow down I'm going to miss something. I've become a task-master, always doing and always going and when I'm not, I'm thinking of doing and going. It's tough to admit but it's putting a strain on me.

Even though I feel emotionally and physically stronger that I did at 25, I have to remember that I'm 40, have to admit that I'm not Super Woman and that means that I need more rest now, more time to decompress, more time being serene. To gently remind myself to enjoy being present in the moment. To take the time for more cups of tea where I just sit and enjoy sipping the tea and rather than putting pressure on myself to figure out what needs to be done next. Just slow down and live in the now and know that everything will get done when it's meant to get done.

It will probably be quiet here until I'm feeling better. I'm going to rest today, drink lots of echinacea tea and ginger-laden juice. Until next time, take a moment with a cup of tea and just be. That's what I'm going to (try) to do.

3 comments:

  1. sounds like some R&R is just what you need.

    rest up, & recharge.

    Just a couple thoughts to share-as you continue on this journey. Much like you change the foods & the way you eat with the season, you also have to remember to honor your body as the seasons change too. The changing of the clocks is a reminder that this is the season of hibernation. And that does not need to equal putting on an extra layer of fat. For me, and my yoga practice, it means gentler, more restorative practices. I also like to take more hot baths, and if your gym has a heated pool or sauna, that is nice too. Hot baths are great for your body, as they help us to detox (when you throw a little dead sea salt in there!)

    Just something to think about. Maybe something to talk to your trainer about too--how to change up what your doing with exercise so that you're not putting as much stress on your body during these winter months. :)

    Light to you!

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  2. I love tea! Although it’s a rush to feel like ‘wow, you can do anything!’, it’s good to realize you still have very real (human) limitations and also to stop and smell the roses now that you’ve busted your butt to get here. Nothing wrong with that!

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  3. I'm sorry you've been feeling like this. Don't be hard on yourself whether it's beating yourself up for the past or pushing yourself to be perfect in the present - although that's easier said than done, I know. Hope you are already feeling better and getting to the root of what's eating you. <3

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