Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I Fear Change

My upbringing left me with a deep rooted fear of change. I'm not talking about superficial things like changing lipstick or hair color but things like jobs, moving, changes to my surroundings, lifestyle. Even thinking about this sort of change can send me into an epic anxiety spiral. My "comfort zone" has always been sacred. Too many times I have allowed my fear of change to push me from my sacred place and right into feeding my face. And once I stuffed myself into this fat person I barely recognized, fear of change kept me there. Do you see where I'm going with this?

I knew I *had* to change, I knew that keeping myself submerged in a life full of comfort food, and that piling on the pounds was keeping me from the life I wanted to live. It was also shortening my life. Think about it. Overeating this crap I called comfort food was not only keeping me from living the life I desperately wanted, one of fun, vitality, curiosity, adventure but was going to cut it short! But how does one make a change when change is such a fearful prospect?

One small change at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time. I made changes gradually so that rather notice the change, I took in only the positive outcome. And here I sit 19 months later living the life I want to live. A life of learning, seeing, doing. Making the change from a terribly unhealthy lifestyle has opened me up to new and wonderful experiences that I don't think I would have had if I stayed hidden in my big, fat, sacred comfort zone.

I'm starting to see change differently now. "Change" doesn't give me the same sort of anxiety as it used to, nor does it send me flying into the pantry to stuff my face. Life can't exist in a vacuum, change is inevitable and needn't cause fear...
~ Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become. ~ Unknown
Is fear of change keeping you from living the life you want?


5 comments:

  1. That's awesome that your whole attitude towards change has, well, changed. I have always thought that so many people feel like the problems they have are so much "safer" than the problems that might arise if they tried to improve their situation. I'm completely the opposite, I always feel like if I'm not changing or growing in a positive way, I'm sliding backwards to a place I don't want to be anymore!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't think change is easy for anyone, but some people are definitely more paralyzed by it than others (I've been there). Good for you for finding a healthy way to make constant change a part of your life.

    It's all about letting go and moving forward. Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I actually like change now, for the most part. Change is hard, but it is how you grow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I stumbled across your blog today. I am changing my life big time. I am starting my journey to change and lose 50+ pounds. Wish me luck! Congrats on the magazine!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Welcome I Said So...thanks for stopping by. I love your user name!

    ReplyDelete